when I love you a little less then before.

I've this sudden fear that everything I have is unreal.
Are you paid to be this nice to me?
Goodness, it must be all the dramas I've been watching.

Don't fret over this distance. You should know, I don't always tell the truth.
It's like I'm here with you but I'm not here with you,
I'm speaking with you, but I'm not talking to you.
At one moment I'm dying to explain everything, to apologise,
& at the next, I tell myself there's nothing left to say.
So sometimes I telephone. I let the phone ring once, maybe even twice, before I hang up.
That's when I lie in bed & think. Which is rare.
& sometimes I forget clean your existance,
that's when my conscience comes to bugging me saying my heart's fading away.
Nevertheless, I must have ten hearts, to be able to feel this way.

Oh, did I mention, I'm stepping down in a month (:(:(: Stepping down from all these nonsense.
Have you seen my watch? (:

You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel,
I can't tell you something that ain't real.