The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I'm coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light--
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.

Is this pessimism? Because I should be rejoicing.
or is this insecurity.


I need to be in whole,
with heart, body, soul and mind.
They need coherence.

Despite my experience, I can't do this.
Because you're different, more fragile.



Do you feel my heart beating,
do you understand?




LYLJ, where are your morals